Friday, July 17, 2009

dachshunds when spelled looks like it should sound like docks and shunned.

There are at least three dachshunds in Best of the Web 2009. One is hung with fungus and sizzles on a Cadillac's hood. The other two become piles of Esquire magazines.

There are many dachshunds on the internet.

Here are a few of my favorites.








LITTLE KNOWN FACTS ABOUT DACHSHUNDS GLEANED FROM WIKIPEDIA:

~ the breed's name is German and literally means "badger dog"
~Many dachshunds, especially the wire-haired sub type, may exhibit behavior and appearance that are similar to that of the terrier group of dogs.
(ed note: Fans of Chris Guest are already aware that GOD LOVES A TERRIER.)
~the dachshund is the only certifiable breed of dog to hunt both above and below ground.
(like your mom)
~
they are featured in many a joke and cartoon, particularly The Far Side by Gary Larson.
~if a dachshund is brindled on a dark coat and has tan points, you will see brindling on the tan points only.
brindle my points
~
the ONLY disqualifying Fault in Dachshunds is Knuckling over.
knuckle my trunkle
~
Dachshunds can have a blue and a brown eye.
Like Kate Blah-sworth
~
Dachshunds are playful.
Like your dad. ;-) ...say hi for me.
~Many dachshunds do not like unfamiliar people, and many will growl or bark at them.
~
Some writers and daschund experts have theorized that the early roots of the dachshund go back to ancient Egypt, where engravings were made featuring short-legged hunting dogs.
~Dachshunds are popular pets in the United States, ranking seventh in the 2008 American Kennel Club registration statistics.


UNEXPECTED LAST MINUTE CONTEST ANNOUNCEMENT!!!

Write something using one of the above photos as your prompt. Send your something to knockonformica@gmail.com by next Saturday. My favorite dachshund-derived writing will be posted on the blog, and I will also buy the winner a copy of Best of the Web 2009. If you already have Best of the Web 2009, I will buy you something else instead. Special love will be felt for anyone who uses one of the little-known dachshund facts as a sentence in your dachshund-derived writing.

Happy badger hunting!

6 comments:

The Writer's Spark said...

Holy Shit!

Erin said...

My grandmother had a dachshund that would eat anything -- even dry Bisquick and the stuffing out of clean disposable diapers. He was so fat that when he sat up and begged, he could literally sit on his butt and his back legs would stick out in front of him about an inch off of the ground. He'd also steal perfume samples out of magazines and roll around on them. When he died, he was about 40 pounds. He was so awesome.

Unfortunately, he also pretty much ruined me for writing about any other dachshund. So I can only hope you get some great entries.

Molly Gaudry said...

This is great. Can't wait to see who wins!

Laura Ellen Scott said...

my dachshund peed in my dad's ski cap. the next day we took her to an alligator farm (not sure why) where she slipped out of her harness to chase a pair of emus around a pen. so I was chasing my dog who was chasing emus. I do not care to write about this incident.

Tim Jones-Yelvington said...

Laura, I think maybe you just did. :-)

Lauren B. said...

I had a dachshund (Amos) growing up. He lived to be sixteen. He was not the smartest creature alive. Erin mentioned eating habits but not the one favored by Amos -- eating his own excrement.

Despite his hideous breath, I loved him a lot and already have a (terrible) dachshund story I might have to pull out and revise for your contest ... Thanks for bringing back some stinky, yet very happy, memories!