Things I Learned this Weekend (and on Into this Morning)....

1. The new issue of The Legendary is badass. In addition to my story "Grace," it includes work by Dawn Allison, Frank O'Connor, Barry Graham, Josh Stockinger, Michelle Reale, Rosanne Griffeth, Brent Powers, Michael Andreoni, Helen Peterson, Terry Pearce and Gavin Broom.

2. The new issue of Keyhole can now be ordered. This issue includes my "long short" Everyday Zoology. I am excited because I really love Keyhole and this is my first print publication and my first long short publication. This issue also includes work by Crispin Best, Ryan Call, E.K. Entrada, Brian Foley, Scott Garson, Terence Hawkins, Michael Jauchen, Gary Moshimer, Edward Mullany, Alice Pettway, and Matthew Simmons.

3. The Dollar Store Show reading series is awesome. I especially liked Mary Hamilton's story about a heartbroken teddy bear who gets dumped by her girlfriend, moves to Las Vegas, works as a waitress, becomes increasingly unhappy and stressed, seeks relief through a colonic and becomes infatuated with the angelic blonde designer of a hair towel. I also enjoyed Edward Thomas-Herrara's piece, a list of past lovers and objects of infatuation filled with wonderful comic details.

4. The panel conversations at Pilcrow Lit Fest are engaging and informative. I attended panels on live readings (what makes a good reading, what makes a bad reading), small press publishing and writing sex. I think the small press publishing panel was my favorite of the three. Felt the most relevant, and nice interplay between the panelists. When I first saw how many people were on each of these panels (like as many as seven or eight in some cases), and how short the timeframe was (45 min), I was nervous, but thankfully, the panelists were not given time to provide any kind of overview of their own projects or work, which can be a major time-eater, and instead, this information was spread more organically through the conversation, which kept things moving.

5. Opium Literary Death Match is a blast. Jill Summers is brilliant.

6. Amy Guth (I'm too lazy to look up the keystroke to add the two dots above the "u") is amazing and hot. Like potential gay icon hot. Or possibly she already is a gay icon and I'm just out of the loop. I'm fairly certain she must already be an icon of some kind to somebody.

7. Bringing your crazy friend who chats up strangers and then invites herself to hang out with them with you to Opium Literary Death Match is a great way to wind up spending an entire evening hanging out with David Barringer and Todd Zuniga.

8. David Barringer and Todd Zuniga are very nice and very chill. **edit** Todd Zuniga is rock star cool. He feeds granola bars to hungry trixies and they follow him around like rabid fangirls. I am fairly certain that crazy friend entertained more than alienated them, I hope this is the case.

9. With assistance from Lady Gaga, I am now able to run/jog steadily for a solid 25-30 minutes. When I stop, the feeling I am near death only lasts for a half-minute at most, and then I feel crazy euphoric, like I can do anything and everything ever.

10. This crazy euphoric feeling is a good one to have if you intend to spend another five hours dancing at Berlin.

11. If you jog for a half hour and then spend five hours dancing at Berlin, the resulting endorphins will almost resemble a more pleasant form of intoxification. You will arrive home with leaden abdominals and legs about to buckle. The next day, when you suck in what itty bitty bit remains of your gut (seriously? how can there still be any roundness there? what does it take to fully flatten your abdomen??), you may feel as thought your midsection has disappeared. Be sure to eat something substantive even if you are worried your gut will re-accumulate.

11. Dancing at Berlin is way, way, way more fun than getting wasted and feeling anxious and craving sexual attention and affirmation at Berlin.

12. Berlin is a lot more fun before the after-hours herds arrive at 2 AM. For instance, you can actually move around the room and use your arms and legs when you dance.