I dug up my old undergraduate art history paper...

...because I wanted to refer to some of its ideas in a Big Other post...

...and discovered the paper was totally hilarious! ...Some of its sentences are just godawful:

"The artificial light casts a spooky glow over the proceedings, calling forth drunken disorientation in its depressing manifestations."

Goddamn those depressing manifestations!

"Thus, it is simultaneously nostalgic and critical, representing a time that had already begun to fade into the temporal ether."

Gotta watch that temporal ether!

"Regardless of Lautrec’s own orientation toward the female performers of Montmartre, it is clear that multiple and uniquely modern discourses of class, sexuality and celebrity coalesced within these women’s bodies."

Coalesced WITHIN their bodies? Sounds kinky.

"Would that these women could emerge from Lautrec’s canvas to claim agency and tell their own stories of choices made within their alternately constricting and liberating circumstances during an era of social change."

So long as they remember to make choices in passive voice, they will certainly claim agency.

"I imagine May Milton, now reattached to the canvas from which she was once excised, gazing out at contemporary spectators and brazenly declaring, “Gotcha!”"

Lol 4 realz.